Thursday August 28th 2025
Welcome, welcome, hello and how do? We’re back with another holiday journal at Vegan Campout.
This notebook seems particularly apt because it has a cow on the front of it and it says “I don’t eat anything that farts.” Physically speaking, it’s not the most convenient notebook for a festival, but it’s worth it for the cover.
This year’s festival is also a little different because it has an extra day, and it’s also at a new venue: Bygrave Woods. It’s almost like fate because that was my surname before I changed it to Cobain because of it being my pen name.
That also made it more of a pain to get to because it’s in Hertfordshire and about three quarters of the way from High Wycombe to Cambridge. Luckily, I have a car now.
And so Shay came over last night and we ticked off a last few bits before having a relatively early night and then getting up early this morning to pack the car. It’s quite a small one and so we only just had room, but we made it work.
As for the journey, it was painless enough, although someone beeped at me as we were leaving because I couldn’t see them as I pulled out of my parking spot. Other than that, it wasn’t bad considering it was my longest drive to date.
Getting through the gates was a pain, though. There were four different ones, but the one we were in stopped moving and so there were people who started queuing after us who got in 20 minutes before us. I’d signed up to volunteer at the Vegan Runners stall and so we literally got through the gates, dumped our stuff with the Bristol Vegan Runners crew and then went straight to see Peter at the stand and to chat to the general public.
After our shift was over, we headed back to the campsite to set the tent up, then made another trip to the car and back. Then I left Shay to set the tent up how she wanted while I ticked off my 5K for the day (day #118 of a minimum of 5K a day) by running a few laps of the car park.
We were both pretty hungry by then, but it had also started raining. Undeterred, Shay put on her coat (breaking the zip in the process), while I donned a bin bag because I somehow forgot to pack anything waterproof. Then we headed into the arena.
I’d got my eye on loaded hash browns, but Shay wanted Chinese food from Vegan Planet because that’s her favourite. That was fine by me because I love their food too, so we grabbed a bite to eat and then sought shelter in one of the tents, just like 100 or so other people. It felt good to be back.
We went for a mini mooch afterwards, stopping first at a Nepalese/Himalayan fashion shop, where I spotted a tshirt I thought Shay would like, pointed it out to her and she promptly bought it. Then we visited the crystal shop, which we bought a bunch of stuff from before, and bought a bunch more. We got matching wooden charm bracelets, as well as new waterproofs that look like the suits that crime scene investigators wear. I got some stickers for my guitar, too.
We came back to the tent after that, although Shay headed off into the woods to go and rave in the Jungle. I stayed behind to chill and catch up in here, although I was planning on nipping back to the arena for second dinner before bed. Unfortunately, at least for some, it’s currently pissing it down. I’m nice and warm, comfy and dry.
Anyway, I’ve got to be up early tomorrow. We’re off for a social run at 8 AM, and that will tick off day #119.
Sick
So sick,
so tired,
so sick and tired
of everyone,
I’d love to be
more positive
but there you
have it.
Sick
because I usually don’t eat
too much at least
and so a sudden
rich diet
of doughnuts and Chinese food
disagrees with me.
Tired
because I don’t usually drive
this far,
and then there’s the 20k
steps,
a 118-day running streak,
chronic insomnia
and a constant opinion
of current events.
Someone
had spray-painted
a roundabout—
the cross of St. George—
which I think means
they don’t support
genocide.
Or maybe
that’s just wishful
thinking.
Friday August 29th 2025
I didn’t get much sleep, what with one thing and another. My problem has always been that it takes me forever to drop off, so by the time that I fell asleep, it was about 4 AM. People started waking up and talking, joking and laughing loudly at about seven.
On the plus side, I made it back to the arena last night and had poutine hash browns, which were just okay. Honestly, I found them to be a little sickly, but I was surprised to find that Shay liked it considering it was in mushroom gravy. I also picked up a giant KitKat cookie from Vegan Antics, which was delicious. Would recommend. It’s been raining all morning and so I skipped the social trail run, which by the sound of things, a lot of other people did too. I’ll have to catch up later when the rain eases off, although I guess I could steal their route. First, though, I need to psych myself up to go out in the rain to find some breakfast.
Raindrops
keep falling
on my tent,
it’s insane
on the inner
membrane.
People are talking
about the sound being soothing,
but the sound of people talking
about the sound being soothing
isn’t soothing,
so ironically,
I put my earphones in
and listened to rain sounds
on YouTube.
Meanwhile,
I’m hungry and
I need to take a leak,
and the weather forecast says
rain
for four more
hours.
So now I’m watching
raindrops
pooling on top of the tent
in an archipelago,
a couple dozen
little islands
I’ll never visit.
Well, I made it to the arena. Shay had overnight oats and a smoothie, while I went for vegan fish and chips. Both were delicious.
Then we went for a wander and spent some more money. Shay got a necklace and had her hair and makeup done, which goes well with the flower crown she bought. While she was having that done, I queued up for some coffee and then we grabbed an incredible white chocolate millionaires slice from Vegan Antics.
From there, it was back to the tent. Shay’s been socialising with the Vegan Runners lot, but my social battery is already low and so I’ve mostly kept myself to myself. Thing is, I’m on holiday and that doesn’t happen often, so I’m making my priority to look after myself, even if that might seem rude to other people.
I took off on a cheeky 5k earlier, following the route that the social runners took. It was a decent little route, apart from the bit along the road where the traffic wasn’t slowing down and cars were flying past me at about 45 mph.
Now I’m back at the tent, and I feel a poem coming on.
The Devil’s Lettuce
I do not eat
the devil’s lettuce;
I used to fall
but now I’m just
an angel.
The smell
brings me out
in panic attacks;
it paralyses me
from the ears
up.
I do not touch
the devil’s dandruff;
I’ve seen first-hand
the damage it does,
don’t nobody know
the trouble I’ve seen.
I sometimes ring
the devil’s doorbell;
if the tent is rocking,
he’s coming knocking.
I like to count the devil
as an ally,
but I’m no longer a fan
of his merchandise.
Unless the devil can improve
my VO2 max.
It feels like half a lifetime has passed.
Not long after I wrote my poem, Shay and I went to the main arena for some more food, or at least, Shay did. She had a garlic pizza and kindly gave me a slice, and she also gave me a bite of her Homer Simpson doughnut. The stall was full of wasps, attracted by the sugar, but the owner didn’t seem too phased.
We were just about to head back when a massive downpour started up out of nowhere. We sought shelter in the Ecotricity tent, but when it became clear that it wasn’t going to slow down any time soon, I put on my waterproof crime scene investigator coat and made a break for it. The plan was to run back to the tent, pick up Shay’s waterproof and wellies and run back to her, but I’d only just warmed back up enough to leave when she arrived at the tent.
It turns out that the wind, rain, thunder and lightning had forced them to close up and they’d evacuated everyone from the arena.
Anyway, we warmed back up at the tent for a bit, and then when the rain stopped, we put up our solar lights and headed back to the arena, stopping off at the Hogless Roast because they ran out of stock last year and I didn’t want to miss out. We ate that in the Jungle while a DJ played some fairly bad emo music, then started to head back to the tent.
But then we had an idea.
Shay had seen a tattoo design that she wanted, and I’d spotted one that I had my eye on, too. I ended up hotfooting it back first to the tent and then to the car so that I could pick up our ID. Then we got tattoos. Shay has a little heart on her right ankle, and I got a spider web with a heart at the centre of it on my left elbow. It looks great, and it goes well with the rest of my sleeve. I’d also been planning on getting something similar and so it all works out, and is made better by its association with Vegan Campout.
Shay’s looks great too, of course. I, meanwhile, am finding out why they call it a swellbow.
I met Shay back at the tent, but she was heading back to the Jungle and so that gave me some time to write in here. I had to take a little break through because my phone was dying and Shay had the only charger, but I wanted to grab something to eat before bed. I had lentil dahl because I’d heard someone else say it was “the best dahl they’d ever had”, and while it did taste pretty good, it was also lukewarm.
Shay met me by the Ferris Wheel and we came back to the tent for an early night. We’ve got to be up at 7 AM to catch the coach to Wimpole Estate parkrun.
Clerihew for Earthling Ed
Ed Winters
is off to the printers;
he’s got another book
to fuck the butchers up.
Saturday August 30th 2025
I tell you what, neither of us wanted to get out of bed when the alarm went off. We did, though.
We were worried we were going to be late for the bus to parkrun, but then the bus left late and so there was probably no need for us to run. I had a nap on the coach (although I didn’t get any actual sleep), and we arrived at Wimpole Estate just in time for a group photo before the run began.
It was a decent enough course, if a little crowded at the beginning, and it was great to run with so many Vegan Runners. I whizzed around in just over 22 minutes and then waited for Shay to finish in around 45. Good vibes.
We just about had time for a coffee before boarding the coach back to the campsite.
The plan was to go to the arena for some food and to watch Patrick Baboumian, but that didn’t go to plan. I queued for what seemed like forever to get VFC, which was admittedly worth the wait, but Shay was going to meet me and then her phone ran out of battery. I ended up getting a doughnut and taking it back to her in the tent.
We took a moment to clean and tidy the tent, then headed back to the arena to grab some flufflepuffs, which were unfortunately disappointing. They were very fluffy but maybe a little too chewy, and the stall had run out of marshmallows. That kind of made a mockery of things, considering it was supposed to be s’mores flavour.
Anyway, then we watched Heather Mills. I’ve seen her speak before, but her last talk was much more informative. This time around, it was mostly just an advertisement for her new product, NoBloat, It’s designed for people with IBS, Crohn’s and other gut issues, like me, but I don’t know if I’ll ever try it.
Heather Mills
- Applewood ended up selling more vegan cheese than regular cheese.
- Then Applewood tried to cut out VBites and to outsource it to Violife, who fucked it up.
- “What’s the point in being on the planet if we’re going to die in a tomb of money?”
- When you care about something, you’re always going to be on a rollercoaster.
We carried on sitting there and listened to Inspekta Veg on the main stage while Shay played Roblox and I wrote in my journal. Up next, Laura-Lisa Hellwig from Viva!
Laura-Lisa Hellwig
- “The meat industry is feeding us comforting lies.”
- 80% of people go vegan for the animals.
- 17% (almost nine million people) of UK adults are meat-free.
- www.viva.org.uk/jobs
Sunday August 31st 2025
I didn’t write too much after that because I was super tired and so I just didn’t have the energy. That also means that I’ve forgotten a few details, but I’ll do my best to bring you up to date.
We had a shower in the afternoon, and I had a nap at the tent before heading out in the evening to see Bosh. They weren’t particularly good last time they headlined because the whole thing felt like a sales pitch, but this time was a little better. It was more like a fireside chat, which they recorded as the first episode of a new podcast they’re going to launch, but it would have been better if they’d opened up to at least a few questions from the audience. As it was, they got to dictate what they talked about, which included stuff about AI and their exercise routines but not all that much about veganism.
At least I can run a 50k ultramarathon faster than Henry, though.
Bosh
- More of a fireside chat and Q&A than anything.
- One of the biggest and most obvious change over the last ten years is the proliferation of plant-based milk.
- Would they open a restaurant? Bosh is their café for the world.
- Creators they like: Soph’s Plant Kitchen, Alfie Cooks, Callum Harris and Dr. Alan Desmond.
- The Gartner Hype Cycle has hit veganism. There was a huge bubble, followed by a decline. That’s where we are now. Next up is sustainable growth that continues over time.
- Next big trend: longevity.
- People are starting to think about going to a running club, rather than a nightclub.
- Launching in Tesco in October and November: six Bosh meal kits, two Bosh pizzas and three Bosh frozen meals.
- That’s a huge vote of confidence from Tesco and shows that they have faith in a growing plant-based market.
- They’re also launching a Bosh podcast, which includes two new hosts.
- You’re causing a stir somewhere if people are trying to discredit you.
- “Ultraprocessing” isn’t just a vegan issue.
- It’s not as though meat burgers aren’t pumped full of antibiotics.
- We’re up against “big food” who just want your money.
- There are about 15 people working for Bosh now.
- Ian recently ran a 50k in six hours. I was faster.
I went back to the tent after that, while Shay went for a dance in the Jungle. I got my best night’s sleep since I got here (a whopping six hours) and then woke up at 7:30 AM to the sound of my alarm.
Why so early? Well, I’d volunteered to marshal at Norton Common junior parkrun in Letchworth, which was about five miles away. I could have driven there and back, but why drive when you can run> And so I jogged there and back and then volunteered in the middle. Lovely.
Shay was just waking up when I got back, so we took a moment to pack up some of our stuff and take it to the car before heading into the main arena for breakfast. I had peri-peri fried chicken and Shay went back to the Fruitory for overnight oats and a smoothie.
And then we went to see Tash Peterson, who was there in spirit but not in flesh because she’d been refused a visa by the government due to being arrested so many times for her activism. Instead, she’d filmed a video for us to watch.
Tash Peterson
- “If you’re powerful enough to face resistance, you’re powerful enough to be noticed.”
- Activism has consequences, but silence is far worse.
We were starting to get a little chilly by then, and so we whizzed back to the tent to grab blankets and supplies before heading back just in time to see Juliet Gellatley from Viva, whose talk is one of the big reasons why Shay went vegan.
Juliet Gellatley
- “There’s a vast machinery of greed.”
- To the meat industry, it’s inconvenient that animals are alive in the first place.
- When people say the vegan products market is much lower than the meat market, they’re only looking at direct vegan meat replacements.
- For vegans, animal welfare is the primary motivator. For flexitarians, it usually starts out for health reasons and then they learn more about the ethical and environmental side of things.
- One analysis of quick-serving restaurants in the UK analysed 134 million orders and found that vegan orders had increased by 56% in 2024.
- Derail, confuse, lie. The tactics of the meat industry, alongside the alcohol and tobacco industries.
- “I’ve never seen a Muller ad where a day-old calf is taken away from her mother.”
- Of Facebook’s three billion monthly active users, over 800 million are bots. And the mead industry is more than prepared to use them.
Mathew Pritchard was up next, which was interesting because I remember him from the Dirty Sanchez days, while Shay is new to him. I’d seen him before at my first ever VCO, where he talked about doing multiple Ironman challenges and rowing across the ocean, but he’/s gone sober since and so he was able to talk about that. Shay found his talk to be super moving, as did I.
Mathew Pritchard
- “I used to party for days straight; now, if I stay up past 10 PM, I need to go to rehab.”
- “I’m not polished, I’m not perfect, but I’m real.”
- “It still blows my mind how offended people get by what I don’t eat.”
- “The hardest thing you’ll ever do is be honest with yourself.”
After Pritchard, we went back to the tent for a while to rest and recharge before returning to the arena for Sara Pascoe. She was fantastic, and I was glad she did a comedy set instead of talking about the whys and wherefores behind her veganism. I didn’t take any notes though, because that’s not what you do during a comedy set.
Next up, Shay had a couple of shots and I tried to get an alcohol-free beer, only to be told that they were out of stock. Instead, we both grabbed some food and then went on the Ferris wheel just as it was getting dark. The views were incredible, but Shay was terrified, at least to begin with.
Our last trip of the night was to the Jungle, so we could have a little dance together. The music was garbage though, and not the R&B that had been promised on the lineup. Then I went back to the tent to sleep while Shay continued to dance and ended up hanging out with Ellis, one of the founders.
Monday September 1st 2025
We woke up at about 8:30 AM this morning, because we could hear our fellow campers packing up to leave. We’d already packed most of our stuff, and so we took a few more bits to the car and then headed to the main arena for one last wander.
Shay was a little hungover and so she had a few drinks from the Fruitory, followed by Chinese from Vegan Planet. I went to get vegan fried chicken again, as well as some doughnuts for dessert. We had one last mooch around the stalls and then went back to the tent.
We’d done everything else and so all we had to do was to take the tent down and return to the car, which only took 20 minutes or so. Then for the drive home, which was simple enough despite the fact that it started pissing it down.
We got back at around noon and I went straight for my daily run, a supply trip to Morrison’s and then a shower. The end of another adventure.
